If you’ve seen the highly-acclaimed 2006 film “Babel,” then you’ve had the pleasure of having your eyeballs generously filled and melted by sweet something Rinko Kikuchi. If you haven’t seen it, do so tout suite. That’s an order, soldier!

A broiling, undulating controversy has taken Tokyo by storm since Babel’s recent May 2007 release here, (That’s right, even though a great chunk of the movie was filmed in Tokyo, and lots of Americans think it’s a Japanese picture, ‘Babel’ is American, and hence a super late release in Asia).

What’s at stake is the very concept of Japanese female beauty itself.

Here’s what’s going on: Although most foreign (read American) viewers of “Babel” have gone all to hot mush upon viewing Ms. Kikuchi on screen, generally the Japanese are nonplussed by her looks. The fact that Rinko Kikuchi is in fact a stunningly gorgeous twenty-six year-old who is playing an eighteen year-old nympho has set gossipy tongues a-wagging in Tokyo.

“She’s twenty-six,” a close female Japanese colleague informed me, as if that ended all discussion there could possibly be on the issue of Ms. Kikuchi’s beauty. Apparently, people at age 26 in Japan are no longer capable of entry into the prized “beauty” category. My colleague? Thank god! A mere twenty-two.

I, for one, have no trouble making up my mind as to whether Rinko Kikuchi is hot, or not. Clearly she possesses the same unearthly powers of all the great beauties man has honored through the ages. And while freedom of speech is a beautiful thing, those found to be offering offense to the lovely Kikuchi-san, shall be expected to defend their opinions. With pistols. At dawn.