21. You like the same kind of music.

20. Just watching her on dvd all the time feels cold.

19. You really like her work and want to hear what she has to say about it, in bed.

18. You’re a Greek shipping magnate.

17. In order to save her reputation.

16. You get to see what herpes looks like.

15. I mean, you already bought the tickets…so…

14. You missed out on sloppy seconds with Anna Nicole Smith.

13. Um, you are the father of her child, aren’t you?

12. You want to do it now, while you’re still young enough.

11. It’ll be a great story to tell your grandchildren.

10. She came with the room.

9. You’re her cellmate.

8. To satisfy Contractual Obligation.

7. It’s for charity.

6. You promised your Kung-fu Master grandfather you’d sleep with her.

5. Someone double-dirty-dog-dared you to.

4. You’re using her to get to Nicole Richie.

3. You’re a patriot.

2. After a nuclear holocaust, you’re the only man left alive, and she’s… the only woman.

1. It’s 4am and you’re all out of conversation.