21. She was planning on cheating on your dad anyway, and you didn’t want her “going outside the family”.

20. Let’s face it, neither of you is getting any younger.

19. It’s okay in France.

18. You’re reading Oedipus Rex.
(a book smart people read about a guy who’s doin’ his moms yo).

17. She’s reading Oedipus Rex.

16. You might “learn a little something you can use with your girlfriends.”

15. It’s Mother’s Day and you forgot to get her something.

14. You don’t have a sister.

13. Dad’s on a business trip.

12. The other choice is granny.

11. The guards let her visit you.

10. To get your allowance.

9. You already did the dishes and took out the garbage.

8. Dinner was delicious, and you want to show your gratitude.

7. She promised to read you a bedtime story after.

6. You’ve never been close with your mother; now you will be.

5. She’s got the magic hands.

4. If you get caught, you’re not the one who’s going to jail.

3. ‘Cause you’re a “baaad mother@#*%$*!”

2. The both of you want kids, and she doesn’t want to adopt.

1. Because she asked you to. Never question your mother.