In another tasty tidbit just added to the apparently endless nature vs nurture debate, experts at the Bateman Group have released their bi-annual report, containing the inflammatory statement that “Nature, in all its wisdom, has not seen fit to bless our furry friends the bears with the ability to drive.”

The main sticking point which usually acts to prevent most bears from obtaining legal driver’s licences in the United States is genetic, according to L. James Bulow, the Bateman Group’s spokesperson. “Claws. It comes down to claws, mostly,” he explained. “Bears have long, sharp, dirty, deadly claws; they’re great for self-defense, or foraging, but they suck if you’re attempting to use them on a stick shift or the steering wheel of your Mazda,” he said.

Bear rights groups are miffed.

“Two years ago, when their report came out, I remember seeing photographs, published right on the Bateman Group’s website, of CEO Steve Bateman, driving around with a huge brown bear in his golf cart. The headline over the picture was ‘Bateman Declares Bears Exactly Like Humans In Every Respect’,” insisted Bear Defence League spokesman Tedlin Piley.

The change of heart regarding bears seems to have come about in part from Batemen’s own face to face brush with death with an Australian grey bear. While visiting the famed private golf range of Australian cricket champ Lars Ball, Batemen was badly mauled by a grey bear who was employed at Ball’s snack bar. A dispute over the price of a soda led to a seven inch long gash on Mr.Bateman’s left check. Some of his hair was eaten.

“Yeah, it’s just Bateman, taking out his own bad experience on the rest of the bear and bear-lover’s community,” claimed Mr.Piley. “I just hope that in time, he’ll come into contact with other large-clawed bears who don’t try to claw his face off – there are plenty of them out there,” he added.